The push I needed.

It was a rather quiet day, or so I thought, until I entered the grocery store which was crawling with people. I made my way around the store collecting the many things I often take for granted , fresh produce, freshly baked bread, packaged meat , boxed crackers, eggs, milk.. and the list goes on. As i finished up and made myself through the maze of aisles and fellow cart pushers I arrived , safely, to the check out line. Today I qualified for the "express checkout " you know the '8 items only ' line . WHAT A TREAT! or so I told myself. As I approached the elderly cashier she mumbled something I couldn't quite make out. I ignored it and said ,

"hello, pretty busy in hear today eh?"  she replied with an array of complaints and many mumbles and groans and some choice words that I probably wouldn't have liked had my children been there :) Surprised at her response I was rather stunned and didn't exactly know how to react. I was quiet the rest of the time, which if you know me is rather unusual . I made sure to tell her to enjoy the rest of her day and off i went exhausted from the awkward conversation.

A few days later I returned to the grocery store, gathered my things and made my way up to the very quiet check out. There were quite a few lines open and as i made my way to the first available one on the map I noticed the cashier was the same elderly woman I had had a few days before. I immediately came to a screeching halt , almost literally with some of the carts provided at the store ! I turned to find another cashier that would be a little more uplifting in spirit and a little more thankfulness to just be alive.

Than something unexpected happened, I felt almost a hand on my cart and shoulder directing me back to her direction. Something telling me,

 " Go take heart, be hospitable, and loving , treat as you wish to be treated"

I couldn't refuse! So I took a deep breath and was on my way to the torture zone, i mean the check out.
I was sure to show loving kindness and take interest in her and how her day was TRULY treating her.
Since then I continue to look for her every time I am in the store, I make it a point to go to her check out even if it is the longest line. Although over a short period of time I could never seem to catch her on the shift she was working, which i thought was rather odd but I didn't think too much of it, not enough to ask about her. Then finally we were able to cross paths just the other day.

I approached her with a smile on my face and this time was excited to be in her presence. I had noticed she had looked different , she had gotten a hair cut ! This is how the conversation went:

"Your hair looks very nice , you got it cut, and you look better than ever "

"oh you must not have seen me in a little while" she blushed.

"no you are right, i have been wondering where you have been, thought you may have quit on me "

"no no i didn't quit, i like my hair too, i had to do something to cover up my bald spots. "

"Bald spots? Well you can't even notice them , I don't even think you have a single one "

"Well I'm in chemo right, so it's starting to fall out and not look so nice. "

I was shocked..I felt like someone had hit me in the gut with a baseball bat! Here I was at a check out with a lady I had been so thoughtless of until God reached down straightened my perspective and threw me into an uncomfortable situation, and I am so thankful he did. Before I left I was sure to tell her that my family and I would keep her in our prayers and for the first time she stopped what she was doing , looked up to my face, and replied with a smile ,

"thank you, I am going to need it."

Someday you may need a kind stranger friend, so please be that friend to someone else. It is so important and so very much appreciated not only by the person but by God as well for he commands us to be kind unto the broken hearted and you just never know who's heart is broken . This is not a wow look at me i'm so good blog, this is a look at how arrogant my thoughts had been, how my perspective had wondered and become careless and how i learned a very important lesson that i am hoping another can learn from. This is not hypocrocy , there is a strong difference betweeen hypocrocy and warning to others of self failures.

make a code..change a life.

As I sit in my living room in peace and quiet, I start to think of how different life has become for me in the last two years. What a dramatic change. From pounding headaches, hangovers, anger, pain struck eyes, frustration, lost-spirit, hurting heart, aching soul God has transformed me, transformed my heart into a loving heart, a caring heart, a soft heart.
I have a code, my code has always been the same word wise, but hasn't been the same strength wise.

"Be kinder than necessary."

Being kind is not a difficult thing to do, infact you can change someones life by holding a door, asking (with meaning) how there day is going, by saying thank you, by saying oops i'm sorry why don't you go first, by saying excuse me, by saying here you only have a few things why don't you go on ahead of me, by buying someones coffee behind you . Anyone of these little things go A LONG way. And what does it cost you.. not a thing. In fact it makes your wholoe day a different setting, a different level, a different atmosphere. It makes you want to do more, say more, achieve more.

You see I have always been a kind person first and if kindess wasn't shown back my mood and body language changed FAST. but ever since I have given up my own control and given my life back to God "kind" has had a completley different meaning. I can actually see kindness change a person right infront of my eyes. 

For instance:

It was the week before Christmas and I found myself in the Second Cup line in the middle of a very busy, tense shopping mall. The lady behind the counter was very straight faced, short mannered, and cold. She hardly said hello she didn't break a smile and she was hardly making eye contact. The old me; would have thought i had done my "kind' part by saying hello and ordering in a polite tone and now it was time to just also be short, still in a not so mean tone. but I opted not to react that way.

Instead I insisted in getting her eye contact, i didn't break contact not for a second , I wanted to be SURE to grab her attention. Finally her gaze caught mine and I simply said " it sure is busy in here and I'm sure you can't wait to get home to your family. Thanks alot." .. she smirked and answered "you bet." .. so I continued with short blurbs asking things like, are you ready for Christmas? It's not as cold as usual ? Hope you have all your gifts for family bought.. etc. By the end of her getting our coffees ready she was actually LAUGHING and SHARING WORDS with me.. she had the biggest smile i have seen on someone in a long time. She was sure to wish us a merry christmas and tell us to have a good night. The transformation was worth the extra breaths and thinking it took me to ask a few simple questions... to actually genuinely CARE through kindness.

I often like to buy the persons coffee behind me in the coffee line as well. I like to get away quickly so they can't catch up to me or see where i drove off to. One guy even drove out of his way to pull up beside me and mouth "thank you" . and what did it cost me.. not much. But i bet if it didn't create a chain reaction, it sure created a smile on his face for a moment, an hour, maybe even the day.

You see everyone deserves kindness, EVERYONE even those soldiers that nailed Jesus to the cross, or that bum on the street who once had an office job but in this economy has no other choice but to beg for money because no one would take him for an interview because he hasn't had a shower in 3 months,  the murderer in his cell who regrets fully what he has done and has sat alone and freightened for 25 years, the nosey neighbor who doesn't know another way of showing someone she cares , the teenager that can't count change correctly behind the counter because he has so many things at school on his mind , the child that bumped into you into the mall who was frantically looking for her mom or dad, the lady that cut you off today who is a single mom caring for her 3 little ones and juggling 2 full time jobs, the man who tails your car because his mind is preoccupied with his wifes funeral plans. These are all very real situations, and these people deserve kindness. We don't know there situation, there feelings, there burdens, there fears, the sacrifices they have made, the situations they are about to endure. But we do all know they are real people, with real feelings, real needs, and desires, dreams, and we can give them kindness. We can share what we have with them, we can give them hope for the day, or the year. We can make a difference, a little action, a dollar, a hello, a goodbye, a thank you, anything. I urge you to place yourself, your own feelings, stubborn behavior on the back burning for just a day, and watch it impact your heart, your spirit, and soul. Test yourself, test your sincerety, your heart. Be kinder than necessary today and post tomorrow what experiences you had, I would love to read them. ..

Maybe tomorrow you will make your own code, or maybe you want to stick with this one, but whatever you do, make a difference, for good, for better.

peace&love.mercy&grace