Lest we forget...Amazing Grace

Today I awoke to the thought of my Grandpa, a man of many accomplishments one wich was having the pleasure of serving his country, wich in return allows me to serve my God in this beautiful country we live in. He has gone home to be with Jesus now, and I pray he is enjoying his walk through rows of poppys on this beautiful rememberence day. At his funeral a few months ago, people shared many things about his life. As they did at my Grandma's funeral just a few years ago...oh yes Grandma..come with me won't you.

I found myself alone with Grandma, she had just had a heart attack and we were advised that we should say our goodbyes to her.  Although it was warm in that little room, Grandmas hands were fairly cold. I remember holding onto her hand and humming amazing grace to her over and over. She liked that, she couldn't talk to me, but I knew she liked that, her baby grandaughter who was so lost had found it in her heart to sit by her and hum the only hymn she could think of. I couldn't bring myself to leave Grandma, I knew I had let her down, she would never tell me that, but I knew I had let her down.  I was so selfish to want to hold onto her, here I am trying to keep her here, meanwhile she lay in her hospital bed waiting for us to leave so she could return home to Jesus. Grandma waited her whole life for that day, and I selfishly dreaded it my whole life. As I sat with her my life played over and over in my head, my memories of Grandma and me, our trips to her and Grandpas house. She loved us so. The only way I could show Grandma how much i really loved her was to sit with her and hum and hum and hum, amazing grace, how sweet the sound.

Little did I know that amazing grace would become the story of my life.

"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me....
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now, I see.

T'was Grace that taught...
my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear...
the hour I first believed.
Through many dangers, toils and snares...
we have already come.
T'was Grace that brought us safe thus far...
and Grace will lead us home.
The Lord has promised good to me...
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be...
as long as life endures.

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
and mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
a life of joy and peace.

When we've been here ten thousand years...
bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise...
then when we've first begun.

"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,  
That saved a wretch like me....
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now, I see.

  I wanted so badly to hold on, hold onto Grandma, hold on to life as I knew it, hold on to my addiction, hold on to my hurting behavior,  but God had a different plan, I wasn't dead and he wasn't finished with me yet.